🌐Transforming Tension & Conflict

Transforming Tension & Conflict

We are community-led, and do not have a structure in which we guarantee protection or safety that results from conflict. You may wonder how you can address conflicts without resorting to policing or reporting, when there are issues that are not abuse but feel uncomfortable or disruptive.

Tension naturally rises and falls in most relationships, and it provides great learning opportunities. Ignored or repressed tensions can cause explosive conflict and irreversible harm.

As practitioners of Service Leadership, we always lead with empathy and curiosity. Therefore, we seek to develop healthy practices for exploring and transforming our tensions, and conflicts, together.

We officially support the following key guidelines:

1. Reflect

Reflect on tensions: Pause to reflect on tensions. Distinguish facts from your thoughts and feelings about them. Recognize your subjectivity, and consider the source(s) of tensions in a favorable light. Practice steward leadership. Review our Collective Agreement as needed.

Before discussing any remaining tension, consider the Four Gates of Speech; is what you want to share:

1. true?

2. necessary?

3. kind?

4. is it a good time and place to discuss it? (If not, should it wait?)

2. Discuss

Discuss tensions: Discuss issues “locally”, starting with the source(s) of tension if feasible. Ask genuinely curious clarifying questions as needed. Respond instead of reacting. Listen actively and practice patience. Learn from instances in which we weren’t aligned with our Community Collective Agreement, or that it failed to address our needs. Develop mutual understandings and agreements. Report milestones as needed to involved parties. Get support if needed.

3. Get Support

Get support: Expand conversations with subsidiary support as needed, potentially including confidential advice, team discussions or our entire community.

Report issues as needed. You may optionally seek mutually-acceptable mediation and/or arbitration for any sufficiently serious issues by emailing [e-mail]. Seek external support in extreme cases.

Attribution:

This document is adapted from work done by the Code of Conduct committee in the Collaborative Technology Alliance. We offer our gratitude in allowing us to adapt their documentation.

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